It is a common refrain among parents with growing children: “We don’t have enough quality time with our kids.” Parents throughout Pennsylvania and the United States understand the importance of quality time and how children become increasingly busy as they grow older. Plus, we ourselves can have packed schedules between work, school, owning a home, shopping, and raising kids.
While we can work hard to manage the number of obligations in our lives, there will inevitably be busy times within our families. In these stages of life, it may be challenging to find time to spend together without it feeling rushed or infrequent.
This is why making the most of the little time we have is crucial for strengthening the family bond. Here are five tips that will help you maximize the time you have with your family, despite a busy schedule.
When life gets busy, one of the first things to go is taking the time to sit down for dinner. Many of your kids’ activities, such as sports and other extracurricular activities, likely occur at night. Between these events and your work schedule, sitting down to eat may feel impossible. However, numerous studies have consistently demonstrated the positive influence of family meals, which can enhance communication, foster child development, and promote learning of societal roles. Plus, sharing conversations over food makes it easier for you to connect with your spouse and kids.
If possible, try to make sit-down dinners a priority and eliminate distractions, such as phones and television. This is a great time to reflect on the day with everyone and grow closer together. You can even get everyone involved in the meal preparation. Toddlers can help with small, simple tasks (as long as you are okay with cleaning up small messes while getting the food ready). If everyone participates in the cooking, it gives the family more agency. Preparing a meal will also help you develop good communication skills.
Every parent with children in school knows how conversations tend to go:
“How was school today?”
“Good.”
“Learn anything new?”
“Not really.”
Okay, great talk! Engaging in conversation is a skill set that can be cultivated with your family. Many adults even struggle to lead meaningful conversations with each other that improve relationships. If you want to make the most of the limited time you have with your loved ones during a busy stage of life, your conversations must be intentional.
Some strategies that can support meaningful conversations include eliminating distractions, expecting positive outcomes, being respectful, and not taking things personally. If one of your children is not engaging well, it is far more likely that the source of their mood is not you. Additionally, learn how to listen to hear rather than listen to respond.
Every family has certain routines that bring structure and comfort to everyone. However, even positive routines should be broken from time to time to keep things lively. For example, if eating dinner in the dining room of your Pennsylvania home is a regular rhythm, planning something else one night a week could be a fun change that re-engages everyone. Perhaps you should pick an evening with nice weather to eat outside instead of inside.
A deck can be the perfect home project to create an outdoor eating space. With a simple table and patio chairs, you can create an atmosphere that fosters connection while enjoying meals. Plus, building a deck can be a great project that everyone contributes to, though you could also work with a Montgomery County deck builder to make the project easier. Find ways to change up your routines so the regular rhythms do not grow stale.
Your identity as a family does not need to be based solely on blood relations or occupying the same residence. You, your spouse, your kids, or other loved ones can choose a “mission” that everyone can focus on during those precious free moments in your calendar.
Perhaps you can all choose a charity organization or non-profit to volunteer for once every couple of months. You may want to serve your neighbors well, so everyone can participate in some clean-up projects along the street to make the community look nicer. If you want to create a home where people feel safe, consider specializing in hosting cookouts or backyard parties for neighbors and friends. This “mission” can give your family a collective identity where everyone has a role to play, bringing you closer together.
Family game nights have been around for centuries, and probably much longer. Not only is a little friendly competition a great way to increase engagement, but it can also help with child development. If your family has a reliable routine of regular game nights to look forward to, they will learn to keep those times sacred and make time for the family.
Simple games like Charades, Uno, Jenga, or a scavenger hunt are great for all ages. If your kids are on the older side, you can implement more complex games that provide mental stimulation, such as Monopoly, Settlers of Catan, or Scrabble. If game night falls on a beautiful evening, invest in some yard games like Croquet, Kan Jam, Ladder Ball, or Spikeball. It may sound cheesy, but families that play together stay together.
Even if your family consists of just you and your significant partner, relationships require work. Once kids enter the picture, this becomes even more apparent. Raising a family that loves and supports one another means making the most of the time you have together. As the kids get older or your job needs change, time becomes a valuable resource.
With these strategies in mind, you can make the most of time spent with your loved ones, even during the busiest stages of life. Whether you decide to prioritize sit-down meals, game nights, or a family mission, the effort you put into these practices will lead to stronger relationships and happier individuals.
