Big life changes aren't polite, and they don't show up slowly, so you don't have time to adjust. They slam the door open and drag you out of our routine by the hair. Oh, you weren't ready for it? Well, tough, it is what it is. It could be that you were thinking about what to have for dinner last night, and today, you're staring at a positive pregnancy test or packing boxes in a rush because you have to move.
Logistics are the least of your issues here because situations like these really show how you and your partner handle pressure. Will you work as a team and make it easy on each other? Or will you pick a fight over every little thing?
Have you ever heard of the term' relationship accelerators'? That's how psychologists call these transitions. It's not like they'll create new problems, but you can bet that they'll make what's already there bigger. How will you respond?
When things suddenly change, it throws you off balance.
We all have our own daily routines, like drinking coffee in the morning, that we see as anchors. And when something disrupts them, it can feel like someone slipped out a carpet from under your feet. It's uncomfortable and stressful. The uncertainty that these moments cause can lead to a good deal of anxiety because the future starts to look a lot less predictable and harder (if not impossible) to control. This is why couples who are in the middle of big life changes get more emotionally reactive than they usually are.
Say the change in question is a move.
It doesn't even need to be something big, like moving from Connecticut to California. It could be that you're moving from Acworth to Powder Springs. It's still a big change, and hiring residential movers Acworth locals rely on will take care of the logistics. But what about the emotions; will they help you with that? No. That's something you'll need to work on with your partner.
The good news is, if you communicate, it'll be a lot easier, and it will turn all that pressure into a chance to work together and come out of it all stronger.
You thought your emotions being all over the place was the worst of it? Think again.
Here are some other things that can cause major issues in your relationship.
One of the biggest sources of stress in a relationship is money.
Relocation, new housing, education, childcare, and healthcare all add up quickly. Even couples who think they're prepared can be completely blindsided by fees and bills they weren't expecting.
It can be even worse if one partner contributes more than the other, and that wasn't openly discussed in the past. That's a recipe for resentment, and you don't need to be told what resentment does to relationships.
If you and your partner don't carry the weight of the expenses evenly, it can cause many, many arguments (and not just about the numbers).
Every big change has an impact on how a household runs.
Suddenly, one of you has to handle everything around the kids and or take on more than their share of managing the home so the other can focus on their career. Was this anyone's choice? Sometimes it is, but if it's not, it can feel very unfair.
Again, communication is key here. You should openly talk about how you divide work amongst each other, or an imbalance will become frustration, and frustration will turn to distance.
And that's very hard to come back from.
A new city or even just a new side of town can take getting used to, and you and your partner might start to feel like you don't belong in your own lives. There are no more familiar streets around you, no comfortable routines, your social circle has disappeared, and it will take time to rebuild all of it.
One of you might adjust fast, and that's great. But if the other struggles on their own, they can feel isolated. It takes a good deal of support and patience to get through this period, but it's important to do it all together.
If one person feels like they're left behind, the relationship will suffer.
Big changes have zero respect for your energy levels.
Packing, planning, working, adjusting to new routines… It takes both a physical and emotional toll. By the end of the day, you both might feel too tired and like you have nothing left to give to each other. Intimacy shrinks until it disappears, patience goes away, but irritation and frustration?
They'll only grow bigger.
It's okay to have 'off days', but it's also important to make time to connect with your partner, or you'll soon be in a relationship with exhaustion.
If you want to get through big changes as a couple, you shouldn't try to be perfect.
Instead, focus on being open and honest. Talk about what scares you, what you hope for, what you expect from another person, what would make this transition easier for you, etc. Yes, it's uncomfortable, but if you avoid conversations like these, the problems will only get bigger.
One thing that helps is planning together. You could plan your budget, set goals, make a list of who will handle what, whatever it is that you can do together, and that will give both of you a sense of control. At the same time, try not to lose yourself in the process. If you have a hobby, keep up with it as much as you can. Self-care will keep you grounded in a time where nothing is certain, so don't disregard it.
Share some small rituals with your partner, like taking a walk or cooking dinner together, to keep the bond strong.
Nothing shows you what you're made of like a big life change.
Usually, this is a complete mess, but there's also beauty in that mess if you're willing to find it. Every move, every new job, every sleepless night with a baby, every fill-in-the-blank is less about the challenge itself and more about how you face it together.
The couch doesn't fit through the doorway? Laugh about it instead of getting annoyed.
Money is getting tight? Talk about it honestly, or it'll become a battlefield.
Even when you're out of your mind from exhaustion, remember that you're both on the same team.
